They’re at it again! Those wonderful law makers of ours who absolutely, under no circumstances cannot trust us to be adults and make adult decisions about our lives. Starting July 1^st, 2013, Florida will have a fun new law that, according to the text, makes it “unlawful for a person to knowingly and willfully sell or offer for sale [or purchase or possess] at retail any drug paraphernalia described in s. 893.145(12)(a)-(c) or (g)-(m), other than a pipe that is primarily made of briar, meerschaum, clay or corn cob”.

Violate this twice and it is a felony. That means it will take away your right to vote.

Let’s break this down.

First on how this impacts pipe smokers in Florida. I am grateful that the lawmakers were smart enough to include four of the major materials of tobacco pipe. Thank you. However, those certainly aren’t the only materials. I know people who do great work making metal pipes. What about olive-wood or cherry-wood? It seems to violate the law if it is sold in a retail shop. That’s absurd.

Now, let’s look at this from the “we’re supposed to be adults” perspective. This bill bans glass, metal, stone, ceramic pipes, and water pipes (which someone could easily extend to hookahs). Let me make this very clear: it is now (well, will be in July) illegal to sell a piece of glass with two holes on opposite sides. A piece of glass with no malicious intent in its creation is now illegal to sell.

Look, I’m not here to speak out in favor of selling, buying, or partaking in illegal drugs. But something that can be used for illegal purposes should not, vicariously, become illegal to sell. I could easily purchase a glass pipe simply because I think it is pretty or even to smoke tobacco out of because I’m strange.

What do law makers honestly think this will accomplish? Certainly they cannot think that it will lessen drug use. I promise you that there are other ways to accomplish their goals.

Personally, I think it is just the first step to being able to crack down on all devices for burning a burning substance. What is to stop a law maker from suddenly asserting, “These deviants are now using meerschaum pipes for their illegal hobbies”? That would be the end of meerschaum in Florida. After all, the only reason glass pipes got banned is people used it to smoke cannabis. Therefore, if people start using meerschaum for cannabis – or if a law maker even says that they do – there could easily be an amendment to this making meerschaum or clay illegal.

This law is as dangerous as it is pointless. I will repeat a call I made a while ago. It’s fine to become angry about something that you view as injustice, but it is important to actually make your voice heard. Don’t be a silent victim.

Read it for yourself. What do you think?

It’s here again! That magical time of year when people from all different stripes come together and unite around their one common passion: tobacco. Yes, May 31^st, that beautiful day when we come together to celebrate…wait, that’s not right. May 31^st is the day we come together to try to rid ourselves of tobacco. That’s right: World No Tobacco Day.

Every year on May 31^st, the World Health Organization (WHO) promotes World No Tobacco Day, a day where it encourages everyone to abstain from all forms of tobacco use for 24 hours. Why, you might ask? To draw attention to the “widespread prevalence of tobacco use and to the negative health effects of using tobacco products” (Euronews) and to attempt to limit the advertisement for tobacco. The WHO says that it wants to eliminate tobacco advertising, promotion, and sponsorship, or TAPS.

Among the reasons the WHO says that TAPS should be banned is second-hand smoke, evidence that lowering advertising reduces consumption, and the amount of deaths related to tobacco. I, however, have a problem with World No Tobacco Day, go figure.

Tobacco products currently lead to an approximated 5.4 million deaths annually worldwide. In 2011, however, the WHO also said that alcohol leads to around 2.5 million deaths each year. If 5.4 million gets tobacco a full day, 2.5 million should at least get half a day from the WHO where they encourage everyone to give up the sauce and try to prevent all advertisement and promotion on the part of alcohol companies. Oh, wait. That doesn’t happen.

Budweiser is one of the largest sponsors of sporting events in the world, but I haven’t heard a peep out of the WHO about stopping them from doing so. After all, if Budweiser weren’t able to sponsor anything, NASCAR would disappear…hey, I’m starting to like this idea.

It is frighteningly hypocritical for the WHO to say that tobacco is evil and must be snuffed out while happily sipping on their cosmos after a long day at work. Sure, many people say that second-hand smoke is what makes the difference. But what about drunk driving? Both second-hand smoke and drunk driving impact someone other than the user. Here’s the difference: inhaling second-hand smoke might have a negative repercussion one day; getting his by a drunk driver will have a negative repercussion today.

I am in no way encouraging banning alcohol advertisements or alcohol itself. After all, we tried doing that once. It worked wonderfully, only creating an underground crime scene and not reducing alcohol consumption by any significant margin.

Where are the people jumping in to support World No Alcohol Day? Where are the people crying foul when they see Budweiser advertised at their local ballpark? You want to know where they are? They’re drinking a beer. They’re drinking a beer responsibly because they are intelligent enough to see that there is a difference between alcohol abuse and alcohol consumption.

We are all, I would assume, against drunk driving and using alcohol enough to cause permanent damage and becoming dependent on it. But we also see the value of moderation and the difference between taking twelve shots at a bar and drinking a glass of wine with your wife.

That is the same difference between smoking three packs a day and enjoying the occasional cigar or pipe or even cigarette. Moderation.

Personally, though, I don’t care if you choose to take twelve shots at a bar or smoke three packs a day. Just don’t drive after you do it and don’t blow it in my face. Other than that, it’s your life. You’re an adult and I am going to treat you like one. I only ask that you afford me the same respect.

(This piece has no photos because I want you all to post your own!)

The Chicago Pipe Show only comes once a year…but my little brother’s bar mitzvah only comes once in a lifetime. Thus, I knew that no matter how much I tried and whined and kvetched when I found out that Devon’s bar mitzvah was on May 4^th, I would be heading to Kentucky this weekend instead of the Chicago Pipe Show.

Though I like to consider myself mature, I will admit that I am still not 100% over having to miss the show, and this last week has been rough. Everywhere I look online I see plans for meet-ups, events, and good times to be had by all.

I started thinking about what makes missing this show so rough for me. I’ve missed several other shows, having never been to the Kansas City, Richmond, or Las Vegas shows before. It’s not the ability to ogle and buy incredible pipes; I spend far too much of my time ogling pipes online as it is (and I’ve already made a few Chicago Show purchases, anyway, to be displayed later!) So what’s the problem?

The problem is that pipe shows, especially one as large and wide-ranging as the Chicago Show, offer you something that cannot be purchased online: a true feeling of brotherhood. I use this term with no sexist implications, for there are many female members of this club. However, what I get most out of shows like this is a feeling of acceptance, the realization that, no matter what direction you look, there is someone who understands and appreciates your hobby. This is the same feeling that many geeks find at Comic Conventions or Renaissance Faires (Not that I have any experience with either, of course…right…).

When I step onto the floor of a pipe show, I feel a metaphorical weight lifting off of my shoulders and that weight’s name is isolation. While there is a small and wonderful pipe club here in St. Louis, it is rare that I get to be around many other people who appreciate pipes to the same degree that I do, or even more so.

Last year, when Lauren and I finally arrived in Chicago after much anticipation and preparation, it was difficult to really describe the way that I felt. I am not saying this in an attempt to overly Romanticize the experience, but rather to explain. The smell of the room, the sight of the tables, the din of people wandering around discussing pipes…it was beautiful to me. I will miss that feeling this year.

On the up side, I hope to be attending the Kansas City show this year and see my friends that I will desperately miss seeing this year in Chicago. To all of you able to attend the show, I am undyingly envious and hope you have an incredible time. Be sure to take pictures for me! And to any of my pipe maker friends out there…save something good for me! J

While you all are in the show room and in the smoking tent, I will be at a temple watching my little brother read from the Torah and enter in the realm of manhood. All in all, it’s not a bad trade off

Do you have a friend that is almost like a brother or sister to you? And isn’t it true that siblings often compete with one another? I guess it’s no surprise that Dustin and I, who call each other “brother”, are a tad competitive with our pipes. Both of us are collectors and we have very similar tastes: American artisans, Russian pipes, reverse and regular calabashes.

Maybe it was this competitiveness that spurred me into action upon seeing one of Dustin’s recent acquisitions, or maybe it was just a phenomenal pipe by a phenomenal artist.

I remember quite clearly that it was a Wednesday evening when I was scrolling through Facebook on my phone, waiting for Lauren to get done writing a paper. Suddenly, a bizarre calabash popped across my screen: enormous of proportions, distinctive wood choice for the bowl, fantastic bamboo, beautiful sanding.

I instantly pulled up the artisan’s number on my phone and sent him a text message.

“Hey, Steve. I know it’s probably pointless, but is that calabash available?”

Mr. Liskey quickly replied, “Sorry, dude. That one is going to Dustin. ”

Of course! My old adversary, Big D. Babitzke, had struck again! Quickly, I made my move:

“Think you can make its twin?”

“Yeah! We can even do a few things to outdo Dustin’s!”

Well, Big D., prepare to meet your match!

The pipe that Steve Liskey created as the twin to Dustin’s “ice cream cone calabash” takes the calabash system to a level that has been experimented with by only a few people. I recently wrote a piece all about reverse calabashes, a technique that is growing in popularity because of its cool and tasty smoke. The regular calabash system has been around for much longer and delivers similar – though, I would argue, slightly lesser – results.

Dustin’s ice cream cone is a conventional calabash with an enormous frontal expansion chamber. What arrived in the post for me, however, truly lived up to Steve’s promise. Not only does this piece feature the conventional frontal calabash system, adorned with a fashionable cap of spalted tamarind, but the rear area has also been hallowed out, making this pipe both a traditional and reverse calabash: a double calabash.

I know that few people have messed around with this concept, but it hasn’t really caught on as of yet. However, I see no reason why a double calabash should not deliver increased results. Let’s look at the reasons behind the success of the calabash. A conventional calabash features a front chamber where the smoke can expand, mix, and, most importantly, cool before traveling to the mouth. The reverse calabash system does the same thing, just closer to the stem of the pipe. Theoretically, a double calabash should cool the smoke in the front (like a conventional calabash) and then further cool the smoke in the rear (like a reverse calabash), allowing for the coolest, driest possible smoke. And let me tell you, this pipe smokes like a dream: low maintenance, flavorful, cool, dry…perfect.

Another upside of this system is that is damned near impossible for any dottle to make it to the stem. If it somehow made it through the front system, it would surely be caught in the rear. That means one should never have to fear smoking a bowl down to the very bottom, even before the pipe is broken in.

With the recent explosion of reverse calabash pipes, from artisans to factories, I wouldn’t be surprised if we see this type of experimentation start to flourish. People often think that something as old as the pipe has been perfected already. Surely Einstein, Twain, and Russell couldn’t have been wrong. Well, they might not have been wrong, but they might not have been perfect. The reverse calabash is proof of that.

I am inspired to see young artisans continue to push the boundaries of the pipe, from engineering to shaping. Much like in nature, when an organism is threatened with extinction, it evolves or it dies. Though the pipe is no longer as close to extinction as it once was, it is still an endangered species. With no pipe-zoos to keep it thriving and protected, we must rely on evolution. Thank you, Steve, for pushing us one step further away from going extinct and one closer to flourishing once more.

There are a number of very well-known pipe collectors: Rick Newcombe, Neill Archer Roan, Greg Pease, and more. These collectors are respected for their keen eyes, writing, and devotion to the hobby. I have no intention of disparaging any of these men (in fact, I admire them all), but I want to mention that these are far from the only impressive collectors out there that should be heeded.

Many of you have heard me mention Dustin Babitzke many times. Not only is he one of my closet friends, but he is one of the most passionate, intelligent, and impressive pipe collectors in the world, in my opinion. Aside from having possibly the largest, and certainly most impressive, blowfish collection in the world, Dustin has a nearly omniscient perception of pipes and is a great photographer.

Recently, Dustin put his passion into action and created The Briar Portrait Gallery. While the website is new, the project has been in the works for some time.

“The Briar Portrait Gallery was founded by Dustin “Big D” Babitzke in 2012 to help promote the beauty and artistic expression that has emerged from the modern pipe making movement.   Starting with the release of his “Pipe Field Guide: Blowfish Edition” pamphlet at the Chicagoland Pipe Collectors Club Show in May of 2012, Dustin has been working with Pipe Makers and Pipe Clubs from around the world to showcase the talent and skill currently displayed by today’s artisans.  The company’s main goal is to show the world that our hobby is not just about a “quick nicotine hit” but about a fine appreciation of the nuances of materials, craftsmanship, and true woodworking mastery that goes into the creation of a pipe.”

Last year at the Chicago Pipe Show, Dustin had a table where he sold some prints he had done of his pipes. The price was more than reasonable and the prints themselves were gorgeous. I could not resist but take home one of each piece and they are now the center-piece of my office / pipe-room.

So, what exactly is the idea of The Briar Portrait Gallery? Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I think pipes are beautiful (or can be). Now, I have spent countless hours sifting through the archives of Quality Briar and other websites looking at some drool-inducing photos of fantastic pipes. Every now and then, however, I want a bit more of an artistic twist. That’s where Dustin’s website comes in.

The photos of pipes that Dustin features are not your everyday photos, but are stylized to emphasize their beauty. Let me acknowledge: these photos do not give the “pure” depiction of the pipe’s grain and appearance, since most of the photos have been made to look almost like paintings. If you want a perfect example, click on the picture of the Geiger Yggdrasil Blowfish immediately above and enlarge it. You’ll notice that the grain is wavy in a way that briar simply doesn’t grow. But if you want to see the pure, unaltered photo, Dustin is working on adding an option where you can also view the original. If you want to see art that features pipes, you should bookmark, favorite, create an alter to The Briar Portrait Gallery.

I think that the goals of BPG are quite noble. After all, a simple picture of a cigar or of a cigarette, no matter how stylized, is nothing compared to the beauty of a pipe. The next time someone questions you when you say that a particular pipe is lovely or artistic, when they get that flabbergasted look, as if to say, “How can you really think that?”, just click on over to Dustin’s site and watch the disbelife fade and appreciation appear.

Since these pieces truly are art, Dustin didn’t just stop at putting the photos online. No, no! You can actually purchase the majority of these photos and let them bring some style to your home, office, garage, or anywhere you want.

I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t wait long after I saw the prints that Dustin already has available on The Briar Portrait Gallery. So, go! Don’t wait! Show that you’re not only a pipe smoker, but a pipe smoker with class. Visit www.briarportraitgallery.com . Thank me later.