All right, class. I know it’s been a while since I’ve taught your section, but I hope that you have taken the opportunity to practice what we talked about last time.

Who here remembers what we talked about before? Yes, you in the second row.

That’s right: how to select your first pipe. Now, how many of you have that pipe with you? Good! I see a lot of briars and corncobs. Oh, there are even a couple of meerschaum pipes in the class. Very well done.

When we last met, I was about to discuss how to select your first tobacco. Let’s talk a little about that now.

Bear in mind, this is how to select your first couple of blends, not how to select a tobacco once you’ve gotten the hang of pipe smoking. By that time, you will have ideally figured out what you like and how to select a new blend to try.

For now, let’s worry about how to select those all-important first blends.

I am not going to tell you the one option that you must do, because I don’t believe there is one, but rather show you your options, with their positive and negative aspects, and then you can make your own, educated decision.

A lot of people out there recommend starting with so-called drug-store blends, such as Half & Half, Prince Albert, and Captain Black. These blends are all extremely popular and are enjoyed by many and smoked exclusively by some.

There are two principle components within your classic drug-store blend: Burley and Cavendish, typically black Cavendish.

Burley is a common blending component within other types of blends, used frequently to add a little depth and a lot of nicotine. This is a slow-burning tobacco with a mild flavor and a slightly aromatic room-note.

There are many benefits to starting with a Burley-based blend. The flavor will typically be mild and those around you often have nothing but positive things to say about the aroma. In fact, these Burley-based blends will remind a lot of people of “exactly what my grandfather smoked”, which is a line you will hear over and over again.

With these benefits in mind, there are a few downsides. First, it has an extremely high nicotine content, so much so that many experienced pipe smokers still find the “Nic Hit” to be too much to handle. Additionally, the slow-burning quality of Burley means it is prone to bite those who try to smoke too quickly. As new pipesters tend to smoke faster than they really should, they are likely to experience tongue-bite, which very well might turn someone off of pipe smoking.

If you do want to start with Burley blends, I suggest Boswell’s Premium Burley.

Next we come to Cavendish, the primary component of blends like Captain Black.

For clarification, Cavendish is a method of preparation of tobacco, not a particular genus. The tobacco is pressed and then heated, so that it can ferment and become sweet.

Cavendish is very similar to Burley in its benefits. It smells great to passers-by and has a sweet, yet mild, flavor. It also does not have the same amount of a Nic Hit as Burley.

It still has its downside. Cavendish, particularly black Cavendish, tends to be moist, which means that it can be difficult to keep lit if not properly dried and packed. Also, it has the potential of biting, a big downside for any beginner. Read more

Since returning home from Chicago, I have taken great enjoyment in sharing my rescued strays with my close friends. I have come to calling my newly acquired pipes “rescued strays” or pipes that “followed me home”, as I feel that it somehow makes my purchasing them seem like a benevolent act rather than a purely selfish one.

While delicately removing each precious piece from its sock, such as this incredible feat from the hottest stars of the pipe-world, Adam Remington, I noticed a common thread tying together a great deal of my purchases: along with acquiring the work of three pipe makers with fewer than ten years combined experience, every smooth-finish pipe with the exception of one had a small amount of revealed plateau. In fact, in retrospect, it was this plateau that drew me initially to these pipes.

This is a fascination that was either previously subconscious or nonexistent, but it is now something that I wholeheartedly embrace. Being a person highly obsessed with logic, to the point that some have called me Vulcan (I assume they meant this as an insult, but I take it as the highest compliment), I started engaging in some self-reflection to determine what exactly I find so enthralling about something that, aesthetically, is nothing more than a small rough piece of wood. Read more

[1:15 AM, 5/6/12] What does it tell you about an event when you get back to your room around one in the morning? That it is a fantastic time!

Lauren and I just returned from the smoking tent, where we enjoyed great conversation and wonderful pipes. Lauren broke in a new bamboo Tokutomi that I purchased as a present for her with some McClelland Dominican Glory. This was her first time trying such a blend and she ended up enjoying it: “It tastes like pulled pork.” I’m pretty sure that that is a good thing…I think.

Before that, we had a great dinner of Chicago style pizza and classic Italian with Dustin, Nick, George (or LatakiaLover from certain forums), Adam Remington, Steve Morrisette, Brad Pohlmann, Bill Shalosky, Premal Chheda, and a couple of other great people. We had a wonderful time, despite Nick saying that the cannolis were, in fact, not cannolis. We also ended up taking home a lot of pizza and pasta (Lauren forgot hers in Dustin’s car, which I sure hope he figures out soon), but also had a really good time.

One of my favorite experiences about this show has been getting to know the people whose work I have admired and getting to know them as more than just pipe makers, but as people. This makes me enjoy admiring and owning their work even more.

[6:06 PM, 5/5/12] Up to the minute update! I just returned from the John Cotton 2012 Throwdown and I am happy announce that Dick Silverman of Chief Catoonah has been declared the victor by the three judges by a sizable margin. Fear not, I will be including a much lengthier description of the event as soon as I have a free moment.

Lane Limited’s Leonard Wortzel was chosen as the People’s Choice winner, while Steven Books took a very respectable second place.

For those of you who are interested, I will be uploading a large amount of pictures from the Chicago Show on Facebook under my “Pipe-School Ethan Brandt” profile! Read more

It Was the Best of Pipes, by Dirk Claessen

Late in November of  2011, Michael Ziff (aka dusty-z on SF) contacted me asking if I was doing commissions.

I actually love doing commissions, especially with customers who know what they want, but at the same time leave me some freedom to go with the inspiration of the moment. A lot of e-mails went back and forth before Michael and I finally decided on the shape and finish. We had a go!

It was just a matter of when I could start. At the time, specifically during December and January, I was solely dedicated to making the Pipe of the Year for Pipaforo, the Spanish pipe forum. After that there were several commissions waiting to get started.

By the end of December, I felt like doing something other than all those identical pipes, so I began on Michael’s commission. After the pipe was shaped and drilled, I took a picture of it and send it over to Michael. He was satisfied so far. I took the piece to the blasting cabinet and during the third blasting session a little hole appeared on the upper part of the shank. I had reached the smoke channel. (Insert sad Dirk face here) Naturally, this was an upsetting occurrence.

Because of the time pressure to get those 57 Pipes of the Year done, Michael and I agree that I would give his pipe a second try by the end of January. When the time came, I decided to make two versions of the same pipe, with some minor differences in coloring and the material for the shank, thus giving Michael the luxury of choice.

The two pipes came out wonderful, with no extra air holes this time. After some consideration, Michael opted for the “Tête Jaune Cache”. Both this pipe and its twin, the “Yukon”, were named after locations in western Canada, Michael’s country. My girlfriend and I visited both of these places in 2004 during our bicycle trip through the Americas.

At the time when I began with the first attempt on the pipe in December, Michael had started a thread about our cooperation on Smokers’ Forum’s Common Sewers. Now, with the pipe completed and his selection made, he could present the final result.

All right, class. I will be your substitute teacher today, as your regular teacher is out with what we call the “Monday Blues”. Someone needs to call the CDC, because that seems to be an epidemic. Anyway, my name is Ethan and I will be leading class today.

Now, I know that you have recently been discussing the particle theory of light, but we are going to discuss something far more interesting, and certainly more relevant: pipes!

I am sure you are all wondering the same thing right now: But, Ethan, how would I choose my first pipe? Well, class, I am going to help you make that all important decision.

The first choice you really have to make is what type of pipe you will purchase, and you have three primary choices: briar, meerschaum, or a corncob.

First let me state that you cannot make a wrong choice in this department. There are those who insist that a new pipe smoker should always get a briar or always get a corncob, and most of those same people will say that a meerschaum should never be one’s first pipe. I disagree on all of these counts and let me tell you why.

You are picking up a pipe for pleasure, to make yourself happy. All three of these mediums for pipes create cool, quality, delicious smokes and each one can lead to a successful first experience with pipes. For this reason, you should choose whatever style pipe makes you happy.

Now, let’s go through your choices one by one. You’ve just walked into your local tobacconist, after managing to find one, and you spy a pearly white dragon claw holding an egg; the thought of seeing smoke drifting out of that egg, as if a newly hatched dragon had recently crawled off, is simply too much for you to resist. And who could blame you?

There is one all important thing to remember when selecting a meerschaum pipe: make sure is it block meerschaum. What this means is that the pipe was carved from a solid piece of meerschaum and not from scraps, known as pressed meerschaum.

Sometimes this can be difficult to do when buy from a physical tobacconist. So, you have a couple of choices: buy online from a reliable retailer who tells you that it is block meerschaum or try to make this determination while at a tobacconist. You can do this by buying well-known brands, such as IMP, or simply looking at the price: if it is over $50, it is probably block meerschaum. Other than that rule, pick whatever design and size makes you happy.

Some people object to using meerschaum pipes for first pipes because they are ‘more difficult’. I disagree entirely. While it is true that meerschaum is a more fragile material, it is simpler in a number of ways: you don’t have to worry about correctly forming a cake, as you in fact don’t want to form any cake, and you can smoke as much out of it a day as you want. This is much simpler than briar, which has a number of rules that it is suggested one follow. Therefore, this complaint against meerschaum is invalid.

What about the corncob? Some people swear by the value of a corncob as a starter pipe, and it is easy to see why. They are cheap, durable, require next to no work on the part of the pipester, and provide delicious, cool smokes consistently. You can pick up a good Missouri Meerschaum for less that $10 and be off and running!

So, where’s the downside? The downside, as far as I can tell, is purely visual. While the point of the pipe is not always its appearance, it is important for someone who is starting off with a pipe to feel confident and enjoy his new-found hobby. Corncobs, though wonderful, give off the impression of a farmer or a country gentleman, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but it might not be the image that a city-slicker or college student wants to have.

That being said, a pipe is designed to make you happy, not to appease those around you so that you can fit into a particular stereotype. If you are a corporate executive in New York City and you want to smoke a corncob for your first pipe, then you should smoke a corncob. It’s as simple as that.

Finally, we reach the briar. For as many advocates as there are for corncobs as a starter pipe, there are scores more for briar. After all, it is the predominant medium for pipes, the classic image of a pipe, so why not get comfortable with it early on? Of course, there are more rules to be followed with a briar than with a cob or a meerschaum, but that ritual is part of the beauty of pipes.

There are some important things to consider when choosing that fine wooden pipe, however. A number of older articles have been written about how to pick out a pipe shape that best compliments your facial structure and body shape, and that that is the pipe shape that you should buy. These rules included bigger pipes for bigger people, smaller pipes for smaller people, slender pipes for slender people, etc. While this may geometrically have some validity, it is the least important thing that one should be thinking about when picking out a pipe.

If you are a short, rotund person and you see a tall billiard that makes you drool, then that is the pipe you should snag. Don’t second guess yourself by being concerned about whether “this pipe will make me look fat”. Your trip the the tobacconist is not for a shirt or tie or pants, it is for a pipe, for something strictly for yourself. Find one that makes you happy — is this mantra sounding familiar yet, class?

While your happiness is key, there is one rule that I suggest in order to ensure that happiness: avoid the bargain bin or “basket pipes”. While these pipes can be good knock-around pipes, there are not what you want to start with. Go ahead and drop fifty to sixty on your first pipe.

What was that? Yes, you in the back row. Ah, good question. I don’t know if everyone heard him, but he asked why he should spend that much money on something he might not end up enjoying. Well, it’s kind of hedging your bets. If you only spend $15 on a briar pipe, the chances are you won’t enjoy it: it will probably burn hot, taste awful, gurgle, and be difficult to keep lit. While it is not impossible to find a basket pipe that smokes very well, you simply increase your chances of finding a pipe that smokes well by crossing the fifty dollar mark. That extra forty or fifty dollars will help to ensure you are quality smoke and enhance the probability that you will enjoy your pipe. Don’t bet against yourself by going cheap.

All right, now that we’ve picked out our first pipe, it’s time to move to tobacco –

BRIIIIIIIIIIING

Oh, that’s the end of class, everyone. If I get to teach you all again, we will pick up on the subject of pipe tobacco next time. In the mean time, go home and do your homework! And enjoy yourself!