The pipes looked like they were floating there.

I was walking down the lanes of the Chicago Pipe Show main room in May, 2012, with Lauren by my side. Near the table of Cornell & Diehl, there was a table with a number of drool-inducing pipe stands, with pipes held on by magnets. I won’t lie, I don’t remember much about the pipes on that table, nor do I remember much about the person behind the table.

Months later, I found the card for the artisan who created those stands and started hearing his name more and more: Grant Batson. Grant’s name wasn’t being mentioned because of his pipe stands, however, but because of his pipes. Since November, I have become enthralled with Grant’s work, gobbling up almost anything that he has to offer. I have also realized that he is an incredibly talented and kindhearted man. Even when he’s had a rough day in the workshop, I can always hear Grant smiling over the phone.

It was while in college that Grant was first introduced to pipes. “In 1995, I was in college, and thought pipe smoking would be a cool hobby.  I’m terrible with times and dates, but I do remember that one of the very first pipes I bought was during a missionary trip to Uganda.  It was a solid hand-carved pipe made exclusively from Gaboon Ebony.  I also began collecting (bordering on hoarding) pipes from ebay.  I had fun finding little gems in assortments of estate sales.”

After graduating with degrees in PR/Marketing and Spanish, Grant took his years of woodworking experience, combined it with his passion for music, and started the Batson Guitar Company with his brother, Cory. Grant and Cory not only created a successful company, but a highly innovative acoustic guitar that is extremely popular with many guitar enthusiasts.

Recently, Grant Batson changed his focus. He has turned the guitar company over to his brother and has started to hone his skills in pipe making. I was shocked to discover, after owning and being very pleased with three of his pipes, that he has only been making pipes since April, 2012. In less than a year, this man has learned the craft and has found incredible success, with his pipes being sold on some of the most esteemed high-end pipe websites around.

Though both guitars and and pipes involve woodworking, it might not seem like the most natural transition for a craftsman. When I asked Grant how guitars and pipes related, he mused that they are “very similar industries. Pipes and guitars are both ‘functional art’with huge collectibility.  The tooling for the manufacturing of these is vastly different, but both take both sides of your brain to pull off, if you know what I mean.  For me, pipe making is much more enjoyable, as the science is relatively simple.  The art portion leaves much more room for creativity.”

This room for creativity has led Grant to discover a signature shape within his first 100 pipes, even if he didn’t mean to. The blowfish is a shape that seems to be only increasing in popularity and allows for a great deal of artistic license. Grant Batson’s unique creation, however, is quite different from any other rendition that I have seen and I would imagine H.P. Lovecraft would have loved it.

He calls it a “Tormented Blowfish”. No, this is not a pipe that has many personal demons. Rather, the blowfish has more sharp edges than the typical, rounded shape, and features roughed, gnarly outlines. I find this rendition of the blowfish to be attractive and captivating, mostly because, much like the accentuated outlines in comic book art, the rusticated edges emphasize the flow of the lines that otherwise would be more difficult to appreciate.

When Grant was designing my individual TBF, he seemed ecstatic, yet anxious at the same time: ”The grain on this one makes me not want to rusticate it.” That had me a little nervous that the grain would be totally obscured, but my fears were unfounded; in actuality, I found that the rustication emphasized the splendid grain. Grant’s other last minute addition was the red stem: brilliant! I was also surprised by the incredible amount of tobacco that the bowl could hold. While smaller than my Ardor giant, the chamber is still enough to occupy me for a fortnight!

Now, the pipe might appear slightly cumbersome at first. Initially, I struggled to find the most comfortable grip, as a result of the little fin that sticks out on the side. Once I found the right hand position, however, it became a very comfortable pipe.

As a result, Grant has recently found himself overwhelmed with commissions for his Tormented Blowfish, or TBF. Grant seemed quite surprised by the shape’s recent popularity: “a good client of mine in Wisconsin, requested a blowfish that looked a little dark and evil.  So, I rusticated the edges or lines of it, stained it gray and black, added deer antler (Jim, the client, is a big hunter) as the shank ring and put a funky stem on it.  The Tormented Blowfish was born.  Since then, I’ve had more orders for the TBF than any other shape.  Crazy.”

As a testament to the high quality of Grant’s work as a whole, and his Tormented Blowfish specifically, Dustin Babitzke is one of the TBF’s biggest fans. As perhaps the world’s foremost blowfish collector, and one of my closest friends, I hold Dustin’s opinions on pipes and the blowfish shape in extremely high regard. Here are his comments on Grant’s work and his own Tormented Blowfish:

When I hear the word Tormented the last thing I tend to think about is Pipe Smoking. In general, our hobby is a fairly stress free one where we go to tear ourselves away from the torment and stress of day-to-day life. So when I heard that a pipe maker I’ve had my eye on since last May had made a “Tormented Blowfish”, I had to find out what was happening.

Grant Batson came on my radar last year at the Chicago show. Todd Johnson had been telling me for months that Grant was going to be the next big carver. I was intrigued and upon meeting Grant, instantly realized that this was a guy I could get along with. He’s a heck of a guy and an amazing Luthier. He showed me a guitar he had made and I was blown away. Then he pulled out a pipe stand that instantly captured my heart (and my pocketbook). The man obviously had skill as a wood worker, but as we all know, knowing how to work with wood does not a pipe maker make. With my limited budget at the pipe show I opted to just buy the pipe stand and not purchase any of Grant’s pipes (a mistake in hindsight, but read on).

So as the months went by I kept receiving updates from Grant on new pipes he had been working on and the pipe makers he was getting training from. I watched his carving skills emerge and his eye for grain was impeccable. And then, on a fateful day in Autumn, I saw the Tormented Blowfish, a combination of sandblasted and smooth briar with a gnarly finish around the shank. I had never seen someone capture the beauty and grain of a pipe with such a fearsome and rugged look.

(Photo by Dustin Babitzke)

Being a Blowfish fanatic, I find that many makers seem to think that any old crossgrain apple can be called a Blowfish, but Grant realized that the Blowfish needs an organic look and feel that captures the spirit of Lars Ivarsson’s original concept. It should look alive and almost ready to swim out of your hand. Grant captured that perspective perfectly. I was awe struck and on the phone the next morning to Grant. Within two weeks a package arrived at my door with the Tormented Fish ready to be lit.

Before I speak of its smoking characteristics I have to mention the pipes outward beauty. Weighing in at less than 60 grams, the first thing I was surprised by was the feel in the mouth. The button was comfortable to clench, the balance was perfect, and the awkward weight I usually feel from the bowl of a Blowfish was not apparent. Both side panels of the pipe feature gorgeous birdseye so he left both smooth to showoff the grain. He then blasted the rest of the pipe with a deep blast that brought out the crossgrain on the bowl and then amazing tight birdseye rings along the shank. He finishes the shank off with a deep black stained piece of briar Plateaux that has been made to look almost burned or charred. The overall appearance is a pipe that has been through the flames of Hell and back and survived the journey. But upon lighting a new story erupted.

I packed it with one of my favorite tobaccos, Blue Mountain, and struck the charring light. The draw was perfect, not too much but little to no resistance. The engineering could not have been better if Cornelius Manz himself finished the pipe. Through an entire 1 hours and 7 minute (yes I timed it) bowlful I was transported not through Hell, but through a Nirvanic bliss that words cannot do justice. No relights, no gurgling, no nasty pipe water in the mouth, nothing to ruin the enjoyment of this sweet pipe ever emerged. At the writing of this article I’ve probably enjoyed another 50 or so smokes with a similar experience. How could a pipe maker with less than a year of pipe making under his belt do something this wonderful? He’s damn good, that’s how.

I love to buy pipes from new makers and love to chat with them on things I would do to make the pipe better. I love watching new makers emerge and improve their skills. But with Grant Batson I have no critique, I have no tips, I have no requests except put me on your commissions list right away, I’m ready for the next one. For anyone considering what Artisan Pipemakers they should be putting their “must-buy-from” list this year, Grant needs to be #1.

Here’s another reason that I — Ethan again! — would add Grant to your list: plateau. Those of you that have read a few of my pieces might know that I absolutely love plateau on a pipe. When I first started inspecting Grant’s work, I noticed that many of his pipes featured a decent section of prominent plateau.

“I love plateau,” Grant said happily. “I’m a country boy and love things rustic, raw, and real.  Whenever I’m able to leave plateau on a pipe, I do.  Not only does it look great, in my opinion, but it serves as a reminder to me of where this shiny, expensive luxury item came from: dug out of the earth by hand and thrown into a wooden wheel-barrow.”

Grant’s appreciation of the rustic is clear in his work, but so is his experience with making musical instruments. The result must be functional just as much as it must be beautiful. “If it don’t smoke great, it ain’t a great pipe.  Grain Schmain.  And I love grain.  Shapes are fun, too, but smokability is the only real factor of importance, I think.  The stem should be comfortable and the draw should be open.” I can testify from personal experience, Grant’s opinion on the importance of engineering is clear in the smoking quality of his work.

This particular pipe that you see to the right is one that Grant made even before he made my Tormented Blowfish. It is a gorgeous sitter with a good deal of Japanese aesthetics. Slight asymmetrical, it leans to one side, as if it is attempting to burst out of its perpetual seated position.

I’ll admit, I kind of feel bad sharing this with you. Grant is a remarkable artist and I have no doubt that he will quickly become a universal name in the pipe world. Until then, however, I feel like being selfish and hiding this genius. But I can’t (dammit). If you have not checked out Grant’s work yet, I highly recommend you do and keep an eye on this guy.

Since returning home from Chicago, I have taken great enjoyment in sharing my rescued strays with my close friends. I have come to calling my newly acquired pipes “rescued strays” or pipes that “followed me home”, as I feel that it somehow makes my purchasing them seem like a benevolent act rather than a purely selfish one.

While delicately removing each precious piece from its sock, such as this incredible feat from the hottest stars of the pipe-world, Adam Remington, I noticed a common thread tying together a great deal of my purchases: along with acquiring the work of three pipe makers with fewer than ten years combined experience, every smooth-finish pipe with the exception of one had a small amount of revealed plateau. In fact, in retrospect, it was this plateau that drew me initially to these pipes.

This is a fascination that was either previously subconscious or nonexistent, but it is now something that I wholeheartedly embrace. Being a person highly obsessed with logic, to the point that some have called me Vulcan (I assume they meant this as an insult, but I take it as the highest compliment), I started engaging in some self-reflection to determine what exactly I find so enthralling about something that, aesthetically, is nothing more than a small rough piece of wood. Read more

All right, class. I will be your substitute teacher today, as your regular teacher is out with what we call the “Monday Blues”. Someone needs to call the CDC, because that seems to be an epidemic. Anyway, my name is Ethan and I will be leading class today.

Now, I know that you have recently been discussing the particle theory of light, but we are going to discuss something far more interesting, and certainly more relevant: pipes!

I am sure you are all wondering the same thing right now: But, Ethan, how would I choose my first pipe? Well, class, I am going to help you make that all important decision.

The first choice you really have to make is what type of pipe you will purchase, and you have three primary choices: briar, meerschaum, or a corncob.

First let me state that you cannot make a wrong choice in this department. There are those who insist that a new pipe smoker should always get a briar or always get a corncob, and most of those same people will say that a meerschaum should never be one’s first pipe. I disagree on all of these counts and let me tell you why.

You are picking up a pipe for pleasure, to make yourself happy. All three of these mediums for pipes create cool, quality, delicious smokes and each one can lead to a successful first experience with pipes. For this reason, you should choose whatever style pipe makes you happy.

Now, let’s go through your choices one by one. You’ve just walked into your local tobacconist, after managing to find one, and you spy a pearly white dragon claw holding an egg; the thought of seeing smoke drifting out of that egg, as if a newly hatched dragon had recently crawled off, is simply too much for you to resist. And who could blame you?

There is one all important thing to remember when selecting a meerschaum pipe: make sure is it block meerschaum. What this means is that the pipe was carved from a solid piece of meerschaum and not from scraps, known as pressed meerschaum.

Sometimes this can be difficult to do when buy from a physical tobacconist. So, you have a couple of choices: buy online from a reliable retailer who tells you that it is block meerschaum or try to make this determination while at a tobacconist. You can do this by buying well-known brands, such as IMP, or simply looking at the price: if it is over $50, it is probably block meerschaum. Other than that rule, pick whatever design and size makes you happy.

Some people object to using meerschaum pipes for first pipes because they are ‘more difficult’. I disagree entirely. While it is true that meerschaum is a more fragile material, it is simpler in a number of ways: you don’t have to worry about correctly forming a cake, as you in fact don’t want to form any cake, and you can smoke as much out of it a day as you want. This is much simpler than briar, which has a number of rules that it is suggested one follow. Therefore, this complaint against meerschaum is invalid.

What about the corncob? Some people swear by the value of a corncob as a starter pipe, and it is easy to see why. They are cheap, durable, require next to no work on the part of the pipester, and provide delicious, cool smokes consistently. You can pick up a good Missouri Meerschaum for less that $10 and be off and running!

So, where’s the downside? The downside, as far as I can tell, is purely visual. While the point of the pipe is not always its appearance, it is important for someone who is starting off with a pipe to feel confident and enjoy his new-found hobby. Corncobs, though wonderful, give off the impression of a farmer or a country gentleman, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but it might not be the image that a city-slicker or college student wants to have.

That being said, a pipe is designed to make you happy, not to appease those around you so that you can fit into a particular stereotype. If you are a corporate executive in New York City and you want to smoke a corncob for your first pipe, then you should smoke a corncob. It’s as simple as that.

Finally, we reach the briar. For as many advocates as there are for corncobs as a starter pipe, there are scores more for briar. After all, it is the predominant medium for pipes, the classic image of a pipe, so why not get comfortable with it early on? Of course, there are more rules to be followed with a briar than with a cob or a meerschaum, but that ritual is part of the beauty of pipes.

There are some important things to consider when choosing that fine wooden pipe, however. A number of older articles have been written about how to pick out a pipe shape that best compliments your facial structure and body shape, and that that is the pipe shape that you should buy. These rules included bigger pipes for bigger people, smaller pipes for smaller people, slender pipes for slender people, etc. While this may geometrically have some validity, it is the least important thing that one should be thinking about when picking out a pipe.

If you are a short, rotund person and you see a tall billiard that makes you drool, then that is the pipe you should snag. Don’t second guess yourself by being concerned about whether “this pipe will make me look fat”. Your trip the the tobacconist is not for a shirt or tie or pants, it is for a pipe, for something strictly for yourself. Find one that makes you happy — is this mantra sounding familiar yet, class?

While your happiness is key, there is one rule that I suggest in order to ensure that happiness: avoid the bargain bin or “basket pipes”. While these pipes can be good knock-around pipes, there are not what you want to start with. Go ahead and drop fifty to sixty on your first pipe.

What was that? Yes, you in the back row. Ah, good question. I don’t know if everyone heard him, but he asked why he should spend that much money on something he might not end up enjoying. Well, it’s kind of hedging your bets. If you only spend $15 on a briar pipe, the chances are you won’t enjoy it: it will probably burn hot, taste awful, gurgle, and be difficult to keep lit. While it is not impossible to find a basket pipe that smokes very well, you simply increase your chances of finding a pipe that smokes well by crossing the fifty dollar mark. That extra forty or fifty dollars will help to ensure you are quality smoke and enhance the probability that you will enjoy your pipe. Don’t bet against yourself by going cheap.

All right, now that we’ve picked out our first pipe, it’s time to move to tobacco –

BRIIIIIIIIIIING

Oh, that’s the end of class, everyone. If I get to teach you all again, we will pick up on the subject of pipe tobacco next time. In the mean time, go home and do your homework! And enjoy yourself!