First of all, a delayed Cherry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Safe Solstice to all. May your days be merry and bright. Now, let’s jump back a couple of weeks.

Sunday morning on December 2^nd. It was a beautiful day; 70 degrees outside. As I put on a short sleeve shirt, I temporarily thought about global warming, but decided just to enjoy the side effects in my Led Zeppelin shirt.

Around noon, I strolled into The Scottish Arms, a pub where I worked for four years and my fiancé, Lauren, still works as a hostess. Kissing her on the cheek, I settled into a corner booth with an Irish Coffee and papers to grade.

*thud* Lauren drops a local magazine in front of me, open to a specific page with the title “Holiday Gift Guide”. I sighed as I waited for her to point out the item that had caught her eye and prepared for mental calculations of how much of my holiday budget I currently had remaining.

Despite my initial cynicism, my eyes fell on something beautiful, though I did not fully appreciate it at first: a picture of six Vauen pipes from a local pipe shop.

I don’t know if it was because I was too focused on all of the grading I had to do or if I was simply groggy from the previous evening, but my first reaction was simply to say: “Yeah, those are pretty good pipes.”

Lauren looked at me with surprise and I stared back at her with what I am sure must have seemed complete idiocy.

“But it’s a pipe advertisement in a magazine.”

She was right. The beauty of this advertisement was not the brand of pipes being advertised, but the fact that pipes were being mentioned at all. I had not seen something like that outside of specialty shops, hipster-style “ironic” stores, and old, faded catalogues.

I eagerly read the blurb next to the pipes. Nowhere did it mention that this would be a great gift for a grandfather or antique lover, nowhere did it mention it as an alternative to cigarettes or a costume piece. There were no caveats. Not even a warning. It was simply an advertisement for pipes.

Why? Why, now of all times, is there a pipe advertisement in a local publication? Surely it is not just because it is a local establishment. There must be something else.

I recently read a blog piece by Neill Archer Roan concerning the recent item called the Stiff pipe, a pipe which was meant to appeal on a style-level to young, non-pipe smokers. In this article, he mentions that the time might just be perfect for such an invention. The same factors that made the time right for the Stiff pipe might be what make it perfect timing to slowly start advertising for pipes again.

Two of the most popular shows on cable are Mad Men and Boardwalk Empire. Both shows focus on strong male leads; one is the sixties and one during Prohibition. These shows have helped, I would argue, to revive interest in classic drinks, such as Manhattans, Martinis, and straight bourbons, along with other typical acts of manliness.

There are also many websites, one called, appropriately, The Art of Manliness, that gives great how-to guides on everything from shaving with a straight razor to tying a bow-tie to, yes, smoking a pipe.

Something else coming back in style that used to be considered outdated is suits. Phrases like monkey-suit were not uncommon from the sixties and even into the nineties. Now, however, it is thought of as stylish to wear a vest with jeans and is even becoming more and more acceptable to wear a full suit to an informal to semi-formal gathering. I even wear a three piece suit occasionally while I teach my high school classes. Once again, I think that the above mentioned shows have had a slight influence on this. Another show, with a totally different tone, that has helped to revive the suit is How I Met Your Mother. One of the main characters is constantly commanding “Suit up!”

The drinks and suits are just pieces of the puzzle. There are many other signs that we are getting more and more comfortable with invoking the styles of previous generations, from architecture to interior design to children’s names. Each piece of the puzzle that falls into place makes it easier for the next piece to find its way.

Tobacco use is dwindling, yet pipe smoking is on the rise. It is possible, just possible, that the association so many people had with pipes, namely that it was a hobby of the older, wearier generation, might be dying off. With the death of that characterization comes the revitalization of the pipe hobby.

Maybe it might be as simple as a style thing and pipes might become the new 70s band shirts. It gives one an air of cool to be involved with something far before his time. Personally, I have stopped people wearing Pink Floyd t-shirts because they looked too young and asked them what their favorite Floyd album is. If they say “Dark Side of the Moon”, I dismiss them as posers. But I digress.

Personally, I hope this is not simply an issue of style, but a resurgence of common sense and independent thinking.

People do not want to rid themselves of tobacco completely and the gentle art of smoking, but do wish to avoid the potential hazards of cigarettes. Tobacco is becoming an enjoyment instead of a vice and, let’s face it, pipes are far more enjoyable than cigarettes. After all, how often has a cigarette smoker been approached to be told how good his cigarette smells?

Now that we have answered why, at least a little, there’s another question: so what? What does this matter? Is it possible that I am taking a little an ember and mistaking it for a bonfire? Well, I have been guilty of that before.

But…come on! This is a big event! It is these embers that might just catch the torch that brings pipe smokers out of the shadows and removes the stigma attached to the activity. It is possible that this might mean more and more people will stop condemning pipe smoking and start enjoying it. It is possible…

It’s also possible that this is simply a fluke. It’s possible that such an advertisement might get harsh blowback from the public and will not be seen again. It’s possible that this means nothing. Only time will tell.

In the mean time, I encourage each and every one of you to continue being positive ambassadors for our hobby. Follow basic rules of civility and chivalry and we can fan the flames. Smile at passersby while you smoke, stop to talk to curious people, and don’t smoke where it is not welcome.

As for me? I’m going to buy a Vauen from Jon’s Pipe Shop just to show that the advertisement was successful and encourage more of them in the future.

I’m still exhausted. Last week, Lauren and I and three of our friends went to see the midnight showing of The Hobbit. The movie was a great time, even though waking up at 6:30 the next day was not.

Tolkien seems to be extremely popular among pipe smokers. Perhaps it is simply pipester-to-pipester loyalty; perhaps it is his drawn out language that lends itself to length musings and relaxation in an armchair. Then again, maybe it’s just because he wrote incredible stories.

When we arrived at the movie theater about an hour before show time, Lauren and I met up with our friend, Aaron. Aaron is one of the most incredible costume designers that I have ever met. Not only does he create outfits for characters like Jack Sparrow, the Mad Hatter, Batman, and so many more, he also acts the characters out at renaissance faires and parties. His a phenomenal actor, a brilliant guy, and a great friend. It should have been no surprise that he came to the movie with an elaborate set of Elven bracer that he created, start to finish – including staining, stitching, cutting, and molding – just a couple of hours before.

He also brought a pipe. Until eight hours before the movie, I didn’t know that Aaron even owned a pipe. When we were hammering out plans for the night, however, he sent me a text message reading, “We need to smoke a pipe. I have the perfect one.”

Well, well, Aaron! You are full of surprises! Believe it or not, Aaron, I just happen to have the perfect pipe and tobacco for this movie, too.

Many months ago, I spoke with the great pipe-artist, Stephen Downie, about a large project. I don’t know what inspired this project, but we started something that has since become known as the Fellowship of the Pipe: nine pipes for nine of the major Lord of the Rings characters. Here’s the catch: they aren’t imitations of the pipes smoked by those characters in the movies or books, but rather they are the pipes that those characters would commission from Stephen if they were able.

As a result of this goal, each pipe has required a great deal of thinking, including what type of tobacco the character would smoke (for chamber type), level of activity (for stem length), personality (for appearance), passions (details), and geographical origin (materials). These are just some of the factors that have gone into every pipe so far of these has been created.

So far, three of these pipes have been created and will be revealed in a later post. However, I knew that one of these pipes was perfect for this movie, but I couldn’t decide which.

At the impasse, I changed my approach and decided on the tobacco first. I knew for a fact that I wanted to smoke “Shortcut to Mushrooms”, by Just for Him. The delicious, buttery blend is one of the most highly rated blends out there and is a fantastic example of an English Aromatic. Even better, it is part of a Lord of the Rings pipe tobacco series, along with Old Toby, Treebeard, and more.

With this, I settled on the second the pipes Stephen has made in the series, Legolas. This pipe contains Elvish script, is modeled after one of the leaves in the story, and features light, fanciful features as would befit an elf. It seemed more fitting for a slight aromatic than the other options.

I was so giddy to smoke that pipe before the movie that I almost forgot about the movie. When we got to the theater, however, I was so overwhelmed with anticipation and excitement at being with so many friends that I left the pipe idle in the car, completely untouched.

Despite this hiccup in my best-laid plan, we had a wonderful time. Aaron provided Mystery Science Theater 3000 style commentary throughout the previews and Lauren, having never seen or read The Hobbit, let me experience the whole thing through new eyes. Though I regret not getting to christen the pipe on such a perfect occasion, pipes are all about enjoyment. Had I tried to rush the experience, it would not have been worth it.

For those of you who have not yet seen the movie, I really enjoyed it. It has an entirely different feel from the first three Lord of the Rings movies. It is not nearly as dark and has a great deal more humor. A perfect example is the trolls. In the first movies, the trolls didn’t speak: they screamed and roared and howled. In The Hobbit, however, the trolls spoke perfectly, sometimes with British accents.

If you’re skeptical about the fact that it has been split into three movies, don’t be. The movie moves along smoothly and includes a lot more of the Middle Earth canon than does the original book, as it draws upon many different writings.

At three thirty in the morning, I left the movie theater with four people that had a wonderful time and were smiling and laughing, despite the hour. It really was a night to remember, as Biblo said.

Then I had to wake up three hours later…

I initially planned on writing this piece in response to Greg Pease’s November column in Pipes Magazine. The last question that Greg answered there was about what type of pipe Frosty the Snowman and Santa Claus smoke.

I was enchanted by the thought. As Mr. Pease says, Frosty is easy, just by looking at any picture of him or listening to the classic song: he smokes a corncob, like so many other people did back in 1950. Santa (Father Christmas or Saint Nicholas), on the other hand, smokes a little bit of everything. Sometimes he smokes a clay pipe, while other times he smokes a Prussian-style porcelain pipe, a figural meerschaum, a simple briar, or sometimes even a humble corncob.

For most people, especially those who know any of the history of the fantastical figure of Santa Claus, the pipe is simply one of the many qualities that makes Santa such an enchanting figure: he hearkens back to older times, brings us simple pleasures, and reminds us a little bit of that grandfather who would bring us a trinket or present every time he came to visit. He is jolly, full of laughter, and something that we love the image of, even those of us who are deluded enough to think Santa doesn’t exist (heathens!).

I had also planned on saving this post until closer to Christmas. Despite this, I wanted to get my supplies in order, so I started searching for old drawings and pictures. I found many pictures that brought smiles to my face and made me feel like a child once again. They also made me want a meerschaum pipe carved in Santa’s likeness.

While searching for these pictures, however, I found a website that changed everything. There was an article from the Guardian in the UK entitled, “Santa’s pipe put out in new edition of children’s classic”. Wait, what?

Yes, that’s right, ladies and gentlemen. According to this article, Clement C. Moore’s classic, “A Visit From St. Nicholas” — the poem with the famous line, “‘Twas the night before Christmas” — is being released in a new edition, but, this time, it will be missing a couple of lines. Those lines include “The stump of a pipe he held in his teeth, / And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath.” Not only that, the illustration of St. Nicholas was redrawn to censor out the pipe and the smoke.

Pamela McColl,  the publisher and censor of this new version, explains her justification. “I have edited out a few words and lines that reference Santa smoking and removed the cover illustration of his pipe. The omission of these few words do not change the material intent of the author nor do they infringe on the reader’s understanding or enjoyment of this historically-rich story, but by removing these words we may save lives and avoid influencing new smokers,” she says. ”I think these edits outweigh other considerations. If this text is to survive another 200 years it needs to modernise and reflect today’s realities. I want children to celebrate the spirit of giving and to reflect proudly on the holiday traditions that shape their childhood, and the best way to honour Santa and this story is to make him smoke-free.”*

The fact that this misled woman actually believes that this censorship has the potential to “save lives” reveals a deluded sense of grandeur, a misunderstanding of the medical literature, and an overestimation of how much credibility children give fantasy stories when they decide how they are going to live their lives. I know many a young man who was debating whether or not to take up a pipes and then thought to himself, “You know, Santa smoked a pipe, so I definitely should, too!”

She also says that “do not change the material intent of the author”. How clear it is that this woman has never had a character that she created with pen and paper forcibly altered. Let’s take another example of a famous pipe smoker: Sherlock Holmes. Is Sherlock Holmes’s pipe necessary to him being the center of detective stories? No. Would the character be fundamentally different from the original penned by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle? Yes. Much like the modern BBC version that does not smoke a pipe is clearly a different character and, I would hope, would never be suggested as a replacement for all other versions. If someone wanted to change the colors of the trees in the Mona Lisa, that person could not simply say that it was acceptable because the “material intent” was not altered.

There is hope, however. The American Library Association (ALA) says that this is “an act of censorship that denies the audience access to the author’s authentic voice”. The major silver lining here is that those fighting against the removal of the pipe are not tobacco advocates or anything of the sort, but a group the wants to preserve literary history.

The ALA’s objections help to point out what ms McColl is really doing: attempting to change history because she doesn’t like the smell. In order to forward her admitted personal agenda of eliminated smoking, Ms. McColl doesn’t just want to change a story, but wants to eliminate part of the work of someone who produced a poem that resonates with millions of people across multiple generations.

Another area for hope is the comments section in the online Guardian article. Many bemoaned that this would no longer be the Santa that they grew up knowing and loving. Another phrased the problem with the solution beautifully: “curing dandruff with decapitation.”

One comment in particular caught my attention. This comment was responding to all of the anger in response to this censored edition: “WILL SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN” (all-caps theirs).

Indeed, let’s think of the children. How many children do you think have taken up smoking a pipe behind the high school because they saw Santa doing it? For that matter, I am willing to bet that there is a large amount of individuals who saw their fathers, grandfathers, or some other relative smoking a pipe, yet did not smoke themselves.

You know what? I’ve had a change of heart. I like this idea. In fact, let’s take it further! I think that leprechauns shouldn’t have pots of gold, because it encourages greed; the tooth fairy shouldn’t take teeth, because it encourages stealing; the Easter Bunny should stop handing out eggs, because eggs are full of cholesterol and have been found to cause a great deal of heart damage. (Removing tongue from cheek)

Honestly, though, I’m curious why Ms. McColl didn’t remove lines referencing Santa’s weight. After all, obesity is a serious health issue impacting our country. Oh, sure, it’s okay to eat nothing but cookies and milk, but heaven forbid Old Saint Nick smokes a pipe.

*http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2012/oct/24/santa-pipe-new-night-before-christmas

As pipe collectors, just like in the rest of our existence, we go through phases. Some last longer that others and are thus entitled “collecting focuses”, but this is just a euphemism. Very few collection focuses last throughout one’s entire pipe career and with good cause. To me, it would be a dull experience to collect the exact same thing and only that thing for one’s entire lifetime. Please don’t get me wrong: having a focus = good. But there are few people who never diversify their collection beyond one focus. By diversifying your passion and focusing on new aspects of the pipe hobby, your scope widens and  you are better able to appreciate all facets of this complex obsession.

One of my current phases developed without my even knowing it, like they tend to do. Of the last ten pipes that I have added to my collection in recent months, seven of them have been what are known as sitters.

A sitter is not a shape, really, but rather a characteristic of the shaping of the pipe. As near as I can tell, the best definition for a sitter is a pipe that has a flat portion on the bottom that allows it to stand independently in a upright position without the mouthpiece touching the surface on which it is sitting. That last part is important, as it is the entire point of a sitter; it is able to be set down without the use of a pipe stand and without the button getting dirty. If the button touches the table the pipe is sitting on, it’s not a sitter, it’s just a pipe that hasn’t fallen onto its side.

There are two shapes, as far as I can tell, that have being a sitter built into their shape: the poker and the tankard, which is essentially a churchwarden version of a poker. Many shapes, however, with the creativity of a talented artisan, can be made to be a sitter.

Whenever I notice myself falling into another “focus”, I ask myself why. Why this? Why do I like it?

Being a sitter allows the pipe to be an autonomous piece of art and yet be fully functional. For displaying purposes, most pipes require a stand of some sort, whether it be a pipe rack or a single seat. Sitters, however, do not. They can be displayed anywhere, which is something that I have truly come to appreciate as I have been designing my new office and pipe room. Most of my pipes are constrained to the confines of wherever I can fit a pipe rack. My beautiful sitters, however, are able to grace my desk and bookshelves and anywhere else that I can think of.

Does any of this add to the smoking quality of the sitter? No. Then again, neither does the grain. I like sitters in my capacity as a pipe collector, not a pipe smoker.

Also from an artistic perspective, I like the challenge that creating a beautiful and functional sitter poses to the artisan. Oh, sure, it’s easy to make a pipe that can sit on it’s own: just make a poker. But that’s not the challenge. The challenge it to simultaneously get the most out of the block and the shape and to successfully balance the pipe perfectly, both on the X and Y axis, to allow it to stand.

Another construction challenge involves creating a base wide enough to allow the pipe to weather the surface moving slightly beneath it without it tumbling over. After all, there’s no point in having a sitter that collapses every time a mouse walks by the shelf on which it stands. This has to be accomplished without make the pipe look bulky or bottom heavy.

As a consequence of this added challenge, there are often unique and beautiful creations that would never have been thought of otherwise. Everyone knows the saying that competition breeds excellence. In this case, the artisan is competing against gravity and the grain. What might have originally been a run-of-the-mill Dublin becomes an eye-catching and phenomenal piece, as can be seen by looking at this piece by Jonas Rosengren, a Speeding Dublin Sitter.

In general, creating a sitter makes the process of creating pipe a beautiful combination of math and art, even more than it usually is.

As a rule, designing a pipe is already highly mathematical. When you add in the complication of making the pipe sit independently, it heightens the experience and adds in many factors, such as balance on two axes. Also, the angle of the stem and cant of the bowl no longer simply concern shaping and smoking qualities, but also have to do with the balance of the pipe, while still having to be comfortable and functional.

I like it when an artisan deliberately challenges himself. Being content with one’s work leads to atrophy, while turning the volume up to 11, so to speak, leads to incredible work such as those pictured throughout this piece. After all, looking as these beautiful specimens, who could argue with the attractiveness of a well-executed sitter?

Cheers, friends!

P.S. If you know why the title of this piece made me think of one of my favorite SNL episodes, you get a cookie.

Gatherings of pipe smokers is relatively informal affair. Recently, however, I found a fantastic list of 25 rules to follow at such gatherings. Many of these are humorous, but almost all have a great deal of validity and might be a good thing to hand out to everyone at a gathering.

As for me, I whittled down the list to my top 15 and made myself a poster that I plan on putting in my office / pipe room. The link at the end of this post will take you to the full list. I hope you get as good a laugh out of these as I did!

Full list: http://pipechat.info/index.php?topic=2059.0