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The customer is always right. I really do try to conduct business that way but some of you guys really do take advantage of that. Sending pipes back to me from half way across the world because the bowl coating has slightly chipped off on a new pipe, a cleaner will pass easily but a fluffy cleaner won’t, it doesn’t feel right in the hand, the grain isn’t as nice as you thought ( that’s way I take photos and shoot video ) and my personal favorite, returning a pipe because a similar pipe sold on eBay for less then what you payed. I keep telling myself the customer is always right.
Why isn’t there a major pipe show in Europe? Something like Chicago? Why isn’t there a major pipe show in the Northeast part of the USA? Something like Chicago?
Can someone please explain to me the fetish bullshit on YouTube about pipe smoking? It makes me sick to my stomach. When I tell people what I do to make a living I always Imagine that they go home do a search on pipe smoking and stumble upon this junk and think I’m into that… It freaks me out.
There’s an old saying “If you want to cut down on an obsession to eat doughnuts, go to work for Dunkin’s or Krispy Kreme.” Which leads me to, when I tell people I have (what most would consider in our hobby) a smaller collection of pipes they often ask how I could control myself and not want everything for my personal collection. When I started I thought it would be tough not to keep everything, I’ve handled to this point close to a thousand high grade pipes and have only kept two. I honestly don’t know how I do it. I guess I kinda get my ‘fix’ for lack of a better term by taking pictures, videoing, measuring etc… basically getting the pipes ready for the site, not to mention talking to you guy about every pipe. By the time I’m done with that, I don’t want to look at it anymore, I just want it out the door.
A young pipe-maker might look up to guys like Bo, Jess and Lars, I’m not a pipe-maker, I’m a pipe dealer. My guys would be Marty, Per and Premal. The reason I bring this up is because in starting out I didn’t get a lot of help, I mean there isn’t a pipedealersforum.com or a how to book on how to acquire and sell high-grade pipes. These three men, stand up guys, are the reason I do what I’m doing today. Each has taken time over the phone or at a show to give me their advice and point me in the right direction, let me know who to deal with and to avoid, really taken me under there wings. We’re all in the business of selling pipes but they never treated me as competition even though we basically are. I’d just like to thank Marty, Per and Premal for all the help.
Nick
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Hey Nick, thanks for listing all of those cool reasons for returning pipes to you. Expect a box of returns from me in the next few days. Why can’t I think up this stuff? When I decided to return a pipe because it didn’t match my sofa I couldn’t get anywhere. Now I know how to play the game!
As a mild inkling of fear passes over me, I wade into this discussion.
I have over the course of my pipe collecting years returned a total of three pipes.
1st – A large enough sandpit was found inside the uncoated bowl and this pit, according to a well-known pipe retailer whom I consulted, would’ve surely caused a burn out had it been smoked.
2nd – The pipe just wasn’t what I thought it was when I put it in my hand.
3rd – The pipe just wasn’t what I thought it was when I put it in my hand.
The other 50 odd pipes I purchased did not fall into any of those categories.
I will try to explain the 2nd and 3rd reasons which you my friend Nick might have issue with. It is not easy to buy pipes on the internet. I am sure that all collectors TRULY TRULY TRULY appreciate the effort that retailers go into, in order to show us the pipe as best as possible, with the clear goal to minimize this type of return. It has been very nice to see how over the past few years, pipe retailers are now going the extra mile to really give us a great sense of the pipe we are evaluating. Multiple pictures. Video. Both of these are now in use by almost 50% of the pipe retailers I visit so this area is definitely improving and truly helping to minimize some of these issues.
Multiple pictures truly show us very important different perspectives that are sometimes definitely not seen with just one or two pictures. That flaw is now well on its way to correction. And then the video’s, for me at least, truly provide an additional sense of scale regarding how the pipe looks in a hand. These new visual systems have definitely helped my purchase decision making recently.
Beyond that though, I think that at least a portion of what we are actually talking about is our collective ‘mild’ confusion, regarding what we think we like and what we just think looks good. There is an enormous and huge difference and many a collector more experienced than I can likely talk to this much more. In an effort to try and maximize my pipe purchase pleasure upon receiving my internet purchases in the mail, I have thought about this in great depths. There is a disconnect between what we look at and appreciate in terms of visual and aesthetic beauty and what we are comfortable with to put in our mouths and smoke. I am planning to write an article on this issue so it is top of mind for me. Hopefully we can fish out some of the stuff that is going on and help you with this issue. Unlikely but hey, we can try. The more experienced the collector, the more they have had time to learn about this issue.
I imagine Nick that at least 70% of the excuses you hear (fluffy cleaner wont pass thru or grain isn’t as nice as thought) are actually just BS reasons to someone actually just experiencing the above phenomena. That the pipe is simply not one that they are able to connect with at the smoking level. It still looks pretty to them but they had to get it in their hand to really understand that they cant stick the sucker in their mouth and smoke it.
It’s tough. I sympathize with retailers who sell such highly artistic pieces which ultimately need to connect with their owners on a very subjective and personally biased emotional level.
I think the best solution Nick is for you to simply invent the ‘Star Trek’ transporting system and just get the pipe in the potential customer’s hands for them to better evaluate their idea of pleasure with it. Simple! That way you wont even need to have a return system in place. Voila!
And one quick note on Marty. I love the guy. He lives about 100 feet from me and he has taught me (manipulated/brainwashed) a lot of what I know about pipes and I appreciated his guidance so incredibly much. Always honest, which is a quality that is difficult for many people but I for one demand that type of communication and he never fails to deliver.
Warren, we pipedealers draw the line at sofas, had you said recliners, you would have been in business.
David; I hear what your saying, it drives me crazy though I’m not gonna lie.
Is it just me or does Marty remind anyone else of Larry David?
I’ve been extremely fortunate with my customers. Even more so that I have made some very close friends. That’s a plus.
But, ain’t there always a but, or better yet, a butt! Recently a commission was returned. The reason, the stem material was too hard. This pipe had a hand cut Ebonite stem. The customer suggested I should use vulcanite, since it was softer! I explained that Ebonite was a copyright by Goodyear in 1851 and that Ebonite and vulcanite were one in the same. I got nowhere!!!
Upon receipt of said pipe, there was a nice and deep tooth mark on the stem. Must not have been too hard! I should have charged him a restoration fee, since this took about 30 minutes to repair.
Is the customer always right? In a small hobby, like ours, the rumor mill and one’s reputation deem it so, right or wrong.
Nick, you just need to stay away from the fetish pipe sites! One pipe maker I won’t mention, Todd Johnson, showed me a YouTube a while back and it was hilarious! Was it repulsive? Yes! Still, it was funny.
The pipe collector community is waiting for you, Nick, to conceive and promote a Chicago scale pipe show in Boston. Samuel Adams brewery is waiting for you to secure their sponsorship, since they sell so much of their Boston Lager at the Chicago venue and are dying to show their appreciation for our patronage. The Fairmont Copley Square is waiting for you to give them a good reason to revolt against state laws and allow a weekend unrestricted smoking. Get your ass in gear, man!
Brilliant Scott! How do we start a Draft Nick campaign? I’m getting thirsty……
We’ve already started, Warren. Nick actually started it. He made the comment so that one of us would prod him.
In the spirit of random crap, I’d like to say that I think it would be great if buyers would take responsibility for their own poor judgment and not lay it back onto sellers. There has to be a significant undisclosed flaw to make me return something like a collector grade pipe. A “pain in my ass customer return fee” seems appropriate. And Bruce, why didn’t you just make a new bit out of an old scrap of tractor tread for your chomper customer? Along with a custom modification charge on top of the pain in the ass fee.
I have to say Nick, that’s why everyone loves you. You always have that customer is always right mentality. Though I have to say, I think a lot of the returns now adays are do to the pipe snobery in our hobby.
Just a few weeks ago I got a chance to go to a pipe shop here KC. A guy walked in with a new Tonni he had just purchased and it was frickin’ sweet. You could tell the guy loved it the way he was showing it around. Then he ran into a couple of pipe snobs who took a look at it and began to pick it apart, pointing out a nearly microscopic pit and how it was just a little off balance if you set it on your pinky and wiggled it just so….. I was pissed! The poor guy actually looked devastated and then said, “yeah, I think I’m going to return it, it just wasn’t what I was thinking it was.” But 5 minutes earlier it was the greatest pipe he had ever seen. I hate pipe snobs!
Dustin – That is really a sad story. I’ve had “experts” try to pop my balloon like that and sometimes it really does ruin what should be a great experience. I’ve had guys tell me, while I was enjoying a fine smoke, why the pipe I’m smoking shouldn’t smoke well. Essentially they were telling me that the experience I was having was an illusion and that somehow they could see through it. Sure, my enthusiasm for a particular pipe can add to my enjoyment of it and maybe cause me to overlook miniscule bullshit – - is that so bad?